August 16, 2005
57 years old. Oh don't forget the week!
I've spent the last week since my birthday thinking about getting older. I really don't mind that I'll be 60 in less than three years. I've been wondering what the hell I've done with my life.
Raising two kids was awesome, even if I don't think looking back I was very good at it. Being married to a man who beat me wasn't. Being married to a good man the last almost 33 years has been good, bad and awful at times. But somehow we've made it to the death do us part bit. We've overcome strokes, heart attacks, heart problems for both of us, broken tib and fib. that has left him with long lasting pain and emphsemia and bad backs. LOL to long a list of health problems. Who said this is the golden years? When I find you I'll put an itchy ball down your back. :-)
I've tried to be a good person, yeah I know i've been a god awful person at times, but on the whole I think I'm a good person.
The one thing I have done for many years is the random acts of kidness. Not big one, just little ones but ones that I hope have made folk in the past and future smile.
Had some great jobs, that taught me alot. I've always loved learning a job then going on to better things in the same company. I guess in the last 23 years I've had worked for two main companies and then stayed at both for many years. One for 10 years and one for 16. Run my own business and worked for another company that I would have stayed at if we hadn't come home in 2000.
I guess that's enough for today.
Posted on: Tue, Aug 16 2005 2:09 PM
August 15, 2005
I'm going to be a Great-Grandmother
I'm thrilled, delighted and excited. Her and her partner are both very happy, as is the rest of the extended families.
Posted on: Mon, Aug 15 2005 9:06 PM
August 11, 2005
Another Pain Day
God I hope this doesn't turn into a pain blog, but that's whats on my mind today. I emptied the dish washer made toast and was in agony from just doing that!. I want an appointment with the pain clinic now, not in a few weeks or months, and my regular GP isn't any help at all.
I did force myself to take a walk today, I have to walk at least five days a week, to try and make the blocked arteries work better in my leg. I don't fancy losing it.
I don't want this pain, I want it to go away so I can be back to my busy self again. OK, John doesn't give a toss that I complain about the pain but it really bothers me that the woodwork isn't as clean as it needs to be, or the kitchen floor isn't mopped as often as it should be. And I KNOW that the world isnt' going to end if things don't get done. John has his own health problems and can't do the stuff I think should be done. I was a very active person and resent the fact that I'm not anymore. I want a name to what's causing this pain. I WANT IT TO GO AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Finally I've decided that I don't give a toss what the family say.......... well I'm trying not to. God the English women and their carry on at all costs no matter how crappy you feel and that you should do everything dispite the pain. Having a taste of American medical and American woment care about them selves, and that the American doctors actually give a damn about women, I'm having a hard time with the English women thoughts of not taking care you you. I spent 23 years in the States but somehow got this English thing going as soon as I came back.
No matter what I say, I still feel very guilty about having the pain and not doing what any good English women do. sighhhhhhhhh I need a smack up the side of the head!
THE PAIN IS NOT IN MY HEAD!!!!!!
Posted on: Thu, Aug 11 2005 2:56 PM
August 10, 2005
I'm narked, sighhhhhhhhhhh
Well heck I posted something like this ages ago and it's lost in cyber space or maybe I clicked the wrong button. Me do that? Nah lol.
I was talking to my sil today and told her I had been refered to a pain clinic because of my back pain. Her response was....I have back pain every day and no one does anything for me. Hummmm will she complain to the doc that the pain med don't work? Nope, she said she can't be bothered with it grrrrrrrrrr.
My sill and dil suffer from the same thing. A crack in a bone on the bottom of their spine, from having big babies. I know it starts with cy, but the hell if I can spell it.
Now I'm wondering if I'm being a baby and should just get on with. But then again I don't suffer from the British womens complaint. Suffer in silence. This has been going through my mind all day, am I wimp, a baby where pain is concerned? Sighhh the more I think about it, the more narked I get. I did ask John if he thought I was being a baby and he told me don't be so silly. If there is anything that can be done then for crying out loud do it.
Now I'm thinking what if the clinic says I'm just imagining it. What will I do then? Crap I need to stop thinking like this but it keeps popping up in my brain.
Posted on: Wed, Aug 10 2005 8:15 PM
Will the pain clinic help??
Today I'm not feeling very confident that it will. Who knows how long it'll take to get an appointmen. My GP said there isn't a long waiting list but.............. knowing the length of waiting lists here in the UK, I don't have an expectations that it'll be anytime soon.
I have degenerative disks in the lower spind, the Orthopedic doc told me there was'nt anything he could do.
Take today for instance. I emptied the dish washer, put the dirty stuff in, sorted laundry got that going, made the beds. Not much right? Just about half an hour all told. Now I'm in sooooooooo much pain I don't know what to do with myself. I took my meds and that kinda sorta helped but my back still hurts even after sitting for about 45 min. I couldn't even take Spike for a walk, which I'm supposed to do at least 5 days a week to try and force blood into my right leg because of the aterry blockages that I have in my groin. Shit if I don't improve I stand a good chance of losing that leg.
John does so much around the house, cleaning wise I only have to clean the kitchen and bathroom. Of course I cook and do the laundry but he'll do the ironiing with no problem and I hate to have to depend on him for that. He is so good about making me rest when he knows I'm in pain, LOL I'll take back all the things I've said about him in the past. He has his own health problems and I'm supposed to be his carer. YEH RIGHT like that is happening at the moment.
There are days, like today that I just don't want this pain anymoare. God damn it I want to be normal!!!!!! My body feels old but my brain doesn't. Wonder if they'll catch up to each other? I hope not giggggggle, I'd rather feel like I was 17 then 99.
2 years and 364 days I'll be an Old age pensioner and get my bus pass LOL.
Posted on: Wed, Aug 10 2005 1:32 PM
The mystery of the drain cover:-)
We have a plastic drain cover that, suprise, suprise covers the drain in the back garden. Also have a piece of 4 x 4 wood that keeps it in place. After all it's only to stop the leaves from the wind and gutter from going into the waste pipe.
At least 3 times a week we find this cover on the grass with the bit of wood still in place. I know it's not Spike who likes to drink water from gross places. The tiny birds aren's strong enough to move that far.
It's driving me nutso LOL trying to figure out how it's moved, without the wood being moved. The wood is still in the same place becase after the last time we made sure we knew exactly where it was placed.
It can't be the wind not with the 4 x 4 over it and it's about 6/9 inches from the top of the drain hole.
I think we have either water rats, water voles or and alien coming out of the waste pipe, but then again surely the wood would be moved.
I wish I could put an outside video on the shed to catch the culprit.
Gigggggggggggle, me thinks it's going to be one of those great unsolved mysteries.
Posted on: Wed, Aug 10 2005 1:16 PM
August 7, 2005
Green Woodpecker spotted!
.................... in my garden this morning. I spent an enjoyable half hour watching the birds this morning. It's the very first time that I've even seen a Woodpecker! The baby sparrows were having a pecking time, and having a dirt bath all the while Ms. Green Woodpecker was rooting around eating buggies. She got a bit ticked of when they got in her face and made short work of seeing them off. Brave babies that they are they just moved along in the dirt a bit. She is a beautiful bird and I hope to see her again.
Since we've lived in Cavendish and the last six months especially I've gotten interested in the birds we have aound the front and back garden. The Finches are soooo pretty and lovely singers. This winter I'm going to put up a Blue Tit house. With a bit of luck I might get some tenents. John is going to build a bird feeder that he's going to put just outside the living room window. Maybe I'll get on his case next week and get him hammering LOL.
Posted on: Sun, Aug 7 2005 5:25 PM
A lil bit kind of day
It's been a lil bit kind of day, here in a sorta sunny Cavendish. A lil of of sun, a lil bit of clouds and a lil bit of wind. All in all quite a lovely day.
I had a cat called Lil bit once, when we lived in CA, she was the first cat I'd had since we moved there. She was soooooo beautiful, a calico and lover of life, pleople, dogs, kids and other things great and small. On day I got into my car to go somewhere, and as I started the engine up....OMG all this cat fur was blowing everywhere. After a moment of not being able to move, I finally got out of my car and after inspecting the engine no sign of my lil bit.
Three weeks later my lil bit showed up! She came into the bedroom where I reading, got up onto the bed and laid down. I reached over to stroke her and wham!!!!! I had looooong cat scratches over my hands. Next thing I know she'd peed on the bed, pooped in the corner and I had a lil bit on my hands who'd had a personality change for the worst.
Over time the poor kitty went from bad to worse no matter how we tried to love her, understand her none of us could make her well again. My poor lil bit had to be put to sleep in the end but she will always hold a special place in my heart.
Posted on: Thu, Aug 4 2005 2:13 PM
July 29, 2005
My sons middle daughter just graduated from high school and has decided that she doesn't want to grow up LOL.
Someone knew she was going to be a middle child and gave her the perfect personality. She has marched to her own drum beat since she made her loud entrance to the world. God she's soooooooooo much like me. We like a lot of the same things, colours etc. LOL My dil used to ask if she liked somthing that she had picked out for a gift for me, and if she did then so would grandma. I still have the robe from about 9 years ago, again Meagans taste.
If she wanted to do something she weighed up the pros and cons and of course the punishment if it was something that she wasn't supposed to do. And took her punishment without a word. I'm glad she didn't take that path very often LOL. She admitted whatever it was, never told lies to get out of it.
Everything is black and white to Meagan, and there aren't any colours in between. LOL she doesn't suffer fools lightly. Anyone hurts her heart and she's done! Finished! Never to talk to them again. I'm not sure that's a good thing but that's my Meagan.
She starts college late August for Child Care Development, I'm not to sure how much she'll like it, but has promised Grandma that she'll do the very best she can. Can't ask more than that can you?
Posted on: Fri, Jul 29 2005 5:18 PM
July 27, 2005
For some reason one of the meds I take isn't available in my regular dose. I take 2, 350mg of a muscle relaxer three times a day. I've have found a pharmacy that can get me 120mg and have been getting a scrip from the doctors office for that. But I can only take 4 three times a day. They don't work as well as the stronger ones but they sure are better than nothing. I have an appointment with my doctor when he gets back from holiday on the 8th of August. I'm going to ask him to prescribe me the lower dosage but take six three times a day. I find it very strange that they aren't being made at the moment in the 350mg. The pharmisist is going to order me some more so they'll be in stock next time I order them, so I don't have to wait for days. I sure miss the American pharmacy's.
Went to visit my sil when we were in town today, had a very plesant time. LOL she even made us a sandwich for lunch. Didn't do much else today except pay the utilities. Sure glad I can pay them every two weeks and not quarterly.
Tomorrow is the day to get the rest of the ironing done, now I have my meds.
Posted on: Wed, Jul 27 2005 10:40 PM
July 24, 2005
Sunday evening and it's been raining most of the day. I've been playing online most of the day. I started playing Neop Pets LOL. You know that can get quite addictive.
It's only taken me 6 or so days to figure out how to post on this thing. Next thing is maybe publish it......or not. Wonder if I'll ever write anything interesting enough to share? Gee I'm soooooo good, LOL I found the purple font colour.